


40 Galleons

by chingonas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Other, Scorbus, Slow Burn, i love fake dating aus, inspired by dirty laundry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-01-17 14:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12368121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chingonas/pseuds/chingonas
Summary: "You want me to pretend to date you so can make a point to your prat of a brother?""I'll pay you forty galleons.""... Deal."





	1. deal

**Author's Note:**

> HI YEAH I POSTED THIS ON WATTPAD BUT I WANNA USE AO3 MORE SO HERE YOU GO WHY AM I YELLING GOD THIS IS CRINGEY

**MARCH 12TH, 27 DAYS UNTIL BALL**

Albus isn't one for gossip. Unlike his model witch sister and his quidditch star brother, he's the most uninteresting of the Potter children. Even Teddy, who isn't even related to him by blood, is half metamorphous. Well, come to think of it, he is the only child in the entire Potter-Weasley-Granger family to be in Slytherin. But even that has it's downsides. For example; he has to share a room with Scorpius Malfoy.

Albus loved Scorpius. They were the best of friends. When Al was terrified to be in Slytherin, scared about what his family would think, Scorpius was there for him. When Scorpius was scared of asking Al's cousin Rose out, Albus was there. When Rose said no and Scorpius cried in the bathroom for an hour, Albus was also there, comforting the boy with butterbeer and Chocolate Frogs. When Scorpius came out as bisexual, Albus was the first one he told and Al totally accepted it.

They did everything together and were the greatest friends while doing it.

"AL!" Shouted Scorpius from the sixth year boys dorm. The Malfoy woke Albus from his dream about hippogriffs and goblins with a start. The shower was running, meaning Scorpius was in the shower. "I HAVEN'T GOT ANY CONDITIONER, I'M USING YOURS."

Albus rolled his eyes and he got dressed for the day. "FINE," He shouted back. "YOU OWE ME A NEW BOTTLE!"

"NOT A CHANCE, POTTER!"

Albus rolled his eyes a second time and finished getting dressed. He looked in the mirror and made adjustments to his hair. Scorpius came out the bathroom with a towel around his waist and his blonde hair dripping wet. Albus growled as the water got all over his bed's sheets. Although it might not seem it, Scorpius was his best friend. Even if the prat did get on Al's nerves sometimes.

At breakfast the two sat next to each other at their house table. Albus, being a picky eater, carefully selected his meal before finally deciding on scrambled eggs and bacon. Scorpius, who had groaned on and on about how starving he was on his way to the Great Hall, piled his plate with toast and bacon and a small helping of eggs.

"Hey, loser. Hey, Scorpius." James, Albus' older Gryffindor brother, came over to the table and took a seat opposite of the two boys.

"What do you want?"

"Don't be so rude, Al."

Albus sighed. Scorpius poured himself a cup of pumpkin juice. "What do you want, brother dearest?" Albus rephrased, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

"Did you get the letter from dad?" James asked. "Who are you bringing to the Aurour Ball?"

"What?" Albus furrowed his brows. A letter? If dad sent it with Al's owl, he probably wouldn't get it until next week. Jasmine was terribly slow.

"Oh, come on! On April 7th, the Aurour Ball! It's to celebrate dad's and Uncle Ron's success on training young aurours for over like twenty years or something." James continued as Scorpius took a swig of pumpkin juice.

"Oh yeah, about that-"

James snickered. "Shoulda known. Poor little single Albus doesn't have a date to bring to the ball!"

Albus glared at his brother. James had always teased him, tried to be better than him. Al was never one to date much... Between classes and studying, he didn't have much time. On top of that, all the girls who came up to him always only seemed to be interested in him for his name or for one of his siblings.

James and Lily loved to tease him about it, usually Al didn't mind. But right now? Right now it was seven in the morning, he hadn't had much breakfast, and he had run out of conditioner. So, there was no way Albus was gonna let James win. Not this time.

"Actually." Albus put his arm around a drinking Scorpius. "Scorpius is my date."

Scorpius spit out his drink. James jaw dropped.

"I-I am?" Scorpius wiped the pumpkin juice from his really confused face. Al stepped on his foot harshly. "Ow-fuck- I am! Yes! We're dating!"

"Yeah-heh- um- so the secrets out!" Al shrugged, laughing nervously as other Slytherins began to whisper.

"Wait- Al- you're gay?" James asked Albus, raising and eyebrow and pointing a shaky finger. "Fuck yeah! Teddy owes me twelve sickles!"

Albus smile turned into frown almost instantly. "Wow, I-"

"OI, TEDDY!" James stood on the Slytherin table and faced the Hufflepuff table, cupping his mouth with his hands and yelling, right in front of Al and Scorpius.

"James, please-"

"YOU OWE ME TWELVE SICKLES!"

Teddy, who stayed seated, yelled back. "WHY?"

"James, this-"

"ALBUS IS GAY!"

"And he said it, wow, okay." Albus threw his hands in the hair and turned bright red. Scorpius tried to shrink in his robes. Everyone seemed to be looking at them.

James hopped off the table and faced Albus and Scorpius one last time. "See you later, gotta collect my money!" He said as he ran off to Teddy.

Albus sighed and continued to eat. Scorpius cleared his throat. Al looked to find his friend glaring at him angrily.

Albus frowned. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Scorpius scoffed and threw a cup of water in Albus' face. The table erupted in whispers and snorts as Scorpius pointedly got up and stormed out the hall.

Albus ran after him, ignoring the students pointing and staring.

Outside the Great Hall, Albus grabbed Scorpius' robe.

"Hey, wait-"

"Are you kidding me, Albus? What the fuck?"

"Look, I know it's stupid but can you please play along-"

"What? No!" Scorpius pushed Albus angrily.

"Please!" Albus put his hands together, looking at Scorpius with pleading eyes. The ones that always got Scorpius to help Albus with a stupid idea.

Scorpius glared at his friend.

"You want me to pretend to date you so can make a point to your prat of a brother?"

"I'll pay you forty galleons."

Scorpius looked Albus over one last time, not being able to believe himself for even considering such a stupid idea.

"Fine."

Albus sighed in relief. "Thank you! You're the best."

Scorpius didn't uncross his arms. "Al, are you even gay?"

"I-I'm not gay, I just forgot you were a boy."

Al knew it was dumb when he said it. Scorpius rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"I hate you so much right now."

"Hey," Albus playfully shoved Scorpius. "You can't hate me. We're boyfriends."

Scorpius rolled his eyes for the hundredth time and walked away towards the dungeons, where the Slytherin common room was held.

"I LOVE YOU!" Albus shouted, laughing.

Scorpius turned and flipped his laughing friend off. Albus ran to follow Scorpius. As much as Albus tried to keep high hopes, a thought burned in his brain.

_God, this wasn't going to end well._


	2. help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introducing... 
> 
> rose and lily!
> 
> the dynamic duo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is a weak chapter 
> 
> the next one is better i promise!! 
> 
> you guys really liked it so i decided to keep post! (by you guys i mean five people)

**MARCH 13TH, 27 DAYS UNTIL BALL**  
**  
**

**N** ews travels fast around Hogwarts, especially news surrounding the Potters. Once word got around the famed Slytherin son of the Boy Who Lived and was dating the son of his fathers long time enemy (and not to mention rumored former Death Eater), that's all anyone spoke about. Between classes all sorts of people came up to Al and Scorpius, either asking about their relationship, how they felt about their fathers rivalry, or telling them that they were gay (which annoyed Scorpius, because it was sort of obvious that their 'relationship' was just that).

Scorpius was still very upset with Albus, he had said it was because the risks of the lie would be huge and that both their fathers and the newspapers would be buzzing with rumors. Albus, who had grown up in the media spotlight, didn't think much of it. He figured that Teddy would do something reckless again, or that his cousin Molly would get a very important at the Ministry, and his 15 minutes of fame would be over and no one would care. It wasn't until after History of Magic class did Albus fully understand the massiveness of the situation.

Rose and Lily had cornered the poor boy on his way to the dorms after class and began to whisper-shout questions at him angrily.

"Albus Severus Potter-Weasley you absolute knob!" Rose growled. "Do you have any idea what sort of mess you've gone and got yourself into?"

"Jesus, Rose, I-"

Lily began before Albus could finish. "I'm literally a model and you get more news coverage than me? Male privilege, I swear!"

Albus rolled his eyes as the two girls kept telling him off.

Rose couldn't stop throwing a fit about the consequences; "You're such a git, Al, once my parents and yours find out you're dating a Malfoy, all hell will break lose!"

Lily couldn't believe the unfairness of it all. "Is this all some cruel joke to steal my headline? You know I'm to be in Witch Weekly next week and you suddenly choose this as the perfect time to come out? You're a load of rubbish, Albus!"

Suddenly, Albus couldn't take it anymore. "SHUT UP, THE BOTH OF YOU!"

His sister and cousin stopped.

"I'm going to let you in on a secret but you'll have to promise to keep your mouths shut."

The girls nodded.

Albus sighed. "I'm not actually dating Scorpius. It's all a ruse. We're just pretending so I can get at James and have a date to the Aurour Ball."

The two stared at him for a moment, before going off on him again.

"Do you even see how much of a wanker you are for doing that?" Rose shouted.

"It's not fair! I've been dating Christina for over two years now and I'm terrified to say anything, but you fake date Scorpius for a day and you're all over Hogwarts?" Lily scoffed.

Rose and Albus both froze. "You're dating a girl?" The two said at once.

Lily went red with embarrassment. "Perhaps..." She twirled her curly locks between her fingers and then shook her head to change the subject. "But that's very beyond the point. We need to focus on the fact dad and mum are going to blow through the roof once they found out your dating a Malfoy. Gay? They won't mind, but a son of Draco? They'll kill you."

"Or worse, disown you!" Rose added.

Albus frowned. "It won't be that bad-"

"Ha! Are you taking a piss?" Lily put a hand on her hips and snorted. "Remember when they found out you were even friends with Scorpius? Dad was using a spell to fix the broom shed and you told him and he set the wood on  _fire_."

Albus thought back to that moment. It was true, his father did do that.

Rose nodded. "My dad wouldn't talk to you at the dinner table for three Sundays after that. Mum had to knock some sense into him."

That was also true, his uncle did do that.

"And mum?" Lily raised a brow. "Mum almost burned dinner when she found out. I think mum and dad have a problem with fire..."

That was also very true, this mother  _did_  do that.

Albus expression faltered, he never really thought much about his relative's thoughts on Scorpius. In Al's mind, the only approval that mattered on the topic of Scorpius was his own. But as he thought about it, was he such a mess up to his family he couldn't even pick decent friends? 

Rose noticed her cousin's long face and frowned.

"Hey," she gave Albus a comforting smile and put her hand on his shoulder. "Don't stress on it. We'll help you."

Lily noticed his sad expression and nodded as well. "Yeah! I mean- you may be a stupid bloody wanker- but we love you. We'll help you out."

Albus chuckled. "Really?"

"Sure! There isn't much to it. Just fake dates, purposely getting caught making out in broom closets. It'll be easy." Lily shrugged.

When Lily mentioned him and Scorpius would have to make out, Albus' stomach felt like it did a somersault and tripped when it landed.

Rose nodded. "You'll be in the papers anytime soon, so word'll get around. People'll believe any rubbish as long as it comes in the fine print."

"Hey!" Albus stopped her. "Scorpius and I aren't rubbish."

Rose snorted. "Yeah, you are."

Albus looked at his younger sister for help.

"Nah, sorry Al, you two are rubbish." Lily nodded fake solemnly. "But you're  _my_  rubbish."

"I don't really like Scorpius, but I'll help you. You're family." Rose beamed. "Plus, I hate James too."

Albus smirked at his cousin's remark.

"Come to think of it, this won't be too bad to pull off, actually." Al said hopefully.

Rose and Lily looked at each other and snorted.

Lily shook her head and laughed coldly. "Wait 'till Rita Skeeter gets her hands on this mess. Then you'll be in for it."

Rose shivered and Albus gulped at the sound of the name. If there's anyone the Potter-Granger-Weasley children feared more than Grandma Molly when she's angry, it was Rita Skeeter. 

 

 

 

 


	3. date?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first date, will it go as planned?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the super late update... i'm still shit at using this site!

**MARCH 14TH, 25 DAYS UNTIL BALL**

******I** t was Hogsmeade weekend, the perfect setting for Albus and Scorpius' first date. The four were walking together, huddled close so no one could hear their conversation.

"Here's the plan," Rose began, "You two are going to go into the Three Broomsticks and get a table. It can't be too close to the window because you have to appear as thought you don't want to get caught-"

"But we  _ do _ want to get caught." Scorpius looked confused.

"Well, yes, but the press and other people don't know that. It has to be believable."

"Duh," Lily added. Scorpius nodded. 

"You'll both have butterbeers, Albus will order them-"

"Why him?" Scorpius interjected again.

"Because Albus looks more-"

"Dominant." Lily suggested. She looked her cousin up and down thoughtfully before nodding profusely. "Yup, he's a top."

Albus blushed but Scorpius scoffed. "Whatever."

"Anyway," Rose continued, looking slightly annoyed. "When the butterbeers arrive you'll talk. Smile, laugh, act like you enjoy each other's presence. The press will be there by the time you're halfway done with your drinks, act as if you don't notice them-"

Lily noticed they were within view of other students and she grabbed Rose's arm in urgency.

"Okay, okay, um- I'll guide you the rest of the date. Use  _ secretum loqueris  _ so I can hear you guys." Rose said as Lily pulled her away. "Lily and I will be in the shop across the street so we can keep an eye on you from a safe distance!"

Albus and Scorpius nodded and waved goodbye at the girls as they walked off.

The boys turned to each other.

"You ready?" Albus asked.

"I hate you."

Albus smiled, making Scorpius grin a little bit too. "I'll take that as a yes."

___

Once inside the Three Broomsticks, they did everything Lily and Rose said. Albus whispered the incantation and put his wand on the table so Rose, who was looking at them through the window of Honeydukes across the street, could clearly hear everything and the boys could hear her.

"Okay," Albus said to Rose, facing Scorpius so onlookers would think the boys were talking to each other. "We've got our drinks. What now?"

"Scorpius, laugh." Rose said, her voice coming from Albus' wand.

Scorpius followed suit and giggled a sweet sound. His eyes did that squinting thing and his grin was wide, it was cute and convincing enough for the staring students to mumbled an 'awww'. Albus tried not to look at his laugh too long, something in his gut was squirming.  _ It must be the butterbeer, it's sweetness did always make me want to sick. _

"Okay, good." Rose said. "Now just keep talking." 

Lily interjected and whisper shouted from the wand. "Scor, put your head on your hand and look at Al lovingly." 

Scorpius scowled at the sound of Lily's awful nickname but did what she said. Albus blushed but went along with it. He drank more butterbeer, hoping it'd suppress his stomach's old fluttering.

"You okay, Al?" Scorpius asked, his face looking slightly concerned. Albus forced a smile and nodded. He tried to ignore Scorpius' relaxed expression when Albus said he was okay and he tried to pretend he didn't see Scorpius' eyes twinkle when his friend's expression relaxed in relief. _ Did they always do that? Must be the lighting of this place... _

By the time they were halfway through with their drinks, the press came, just as Rose predicted. They pretended not to notice the cameras- which was no problem, as the Granger-Weasley-Potter children had tons of practice doing so - and continued to mock talk.

"Okay, this is good." Rose said. "Now Scorpius, drink and let the butterbeer give you those mustache things."

Scorpius followed Rose's guide. Albus grinned at how silly his friend looked with butterbeer foam on his upper lip.

"Okay now, Albus, lean in and kiss him."

Albus' frown disappeared. Scorpius choked. Lily snorted.

"What?!" He whispered into his wand, keeping a fake smile so no one would think anything is wrong.

Rose muttered something inaudibly, probably something along the lines of "shut up, Lily!", and her voice became impatient. "Kiss him!"

Al gulped and looked back at Scorpius. The poor Malfoy was too confused to move. The boys looked at each other, unsure what to do.

"Get on with it!" Rose's voice insisted.

"Are you taking a piss?" Albus hissed at his wand. 

"You got yourself into this mess and it's too late to back out. This kiss is what you're going to need if you want anyone to think you're dating. Hurry up and get on with the bloody thing!"

Albus looked at Scorpius. Scorpius looked back.

Both boys shared a look of hesitation. Albus focused on Scorpius' blond hair blowing slightly in the soft gust of breeze inside the cafe. He focused on how Scorpius' Slytherin sweater was a size to big for him, so only his fingers stuck out from the sleeve. He focused on the press camera and how the lights twinkled in Scorpius' glasses and illuminated the boy's eyes. He focused on Scorpius' butterbeer mustache and how the bubbles from the foam were popping as they stood. It calmed him, focusing on Scorpius.

He recognized this feeling of peace, it had come in the form of shared splashes when the boys went swimming the Black Lake and they floated on the water. It had come in the form of whispers when they sat by the fire in the Slytherin common room late at night, studying for astronomy and talking about their favorite stars and constellations. And now it had come again, this time in the form of camera lights and convoluted lies.

Albus almost forgot his name when Rose's voice hissed from the wand. "Hurry up!"

The Malfoy took a deep breath, eyes closed, and nodded. Albus closed his eyes and leaned in. Their lips met, camera lights flashed abruptly, restaurant goers gasped, and students squealed. It was all so surreal. The world around them was silent, all eyes were glued onto the couple. 

Albus felt something odd. It wasn't the peace he had felt a couple moments before, it was like drowning out a long forgotten fire. Like turning off the stove after you had forgotten you didn't put it out earlier and thanking Merlin you didn't burn the house down.  _ Relief.   _ The kiss went on and the relief began to move. Relief placed his hands on Al's cheek; relief's hands were soft, familiar. Relief's hands were the same ones that helped bandage Albus' wounds after he had fallen off a broom for the first time. Relief's touch was warm, like the fire it had sat by with Albus when they both caught a cold from running in the rain the night before. Relief's kiss was forming steam on it's glasses.  _ Relief.  Scorpius.  _

Albus pulled away, and reentered the world around him. Scorpius's glasses were covered in vapor, Albus laughed in his head. The camera lights flashed rapidly and the students around them whispered. 

Rose's voice came again from the wand. "We're going in, act like you expected us." 

Albus nodded and looked at Scorpius, who was polishing his glasses. Albus expected a 'wow' or a nervous blush or even a 'you're a good kisser' but when Scorpius looked up all the Malfoy brought to the table was, "glad that was over with." 

A nonchalant Rose and a satisfied and smirking Lily walked in the restaurant. The students began to fawn over Albus' stunning sister, who winked at the boys, blew kisses at the girls, and waved sweetly at everyone else. They reached the boy's table and Albus looked at Scorpius, who seemed totally unfazed. Inside the disappointed Albus, the stove fire ignited once again and the relief disappeared. 


	4. newspaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rita skeeter's editorial on scorpius and albus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i owe you another chapter for being late, two chaps in a day! thanks for all those reading and leaving kudos, y'all are great. big thanks to those leaving comments! they make this whole writing worthwhile... until next time!

**MARCH 15TH, 22 DAYS UNTIL BALL**

**T** he rest of the day after the fake date- which Lily began to call The Hogsmeade Incident -was quite awkward. Albus couldn't and wouldn't look at Scorpius without turning bright and red. At dinner, Scorpius complimented Albus' eyes, which was normal (everyone loved Albus' eyes, bright green like his father's but, with the right lighting, they shone a nice gold, like his mother's. Scorpius often voiced his likeness for them) but the poor confused Potter stuck his elbow in a butter dish on accident- just like his mother -and only mustered a quick "uh, yeah, sure"- just like his father.

But, besides Albus' internal crisis concerning a certain someone and a certain kiss, the day after the Hogsmeade Incident was calm. At least until Albus almost spat his cereal in Scorpius' face when the Malfoy shouted.

"THE OWL POST IS HERE!" Scorpius jumped up on his feet and waved his arms wildly. He looked ridiculous, but if didn't follow the attention grabbing procedure, his owl- Achilles- would miss him and end up dropping the mail off to some other blonde student. Scorpius knew this because of that one particularly embarrassing event in which his father sent him a Howler regarding a low mark in Third Year, which ended up in the hands of poor Natalia Vane. Luckily, this did not happen a second time because Achilles saw Scorpius and threw the fat roll of paper the owl had been carrying with his talons.

"Is it the post, then?" Albus inquired, getting over his choking fit and wiping his mouth with a napkin. Albus, like his cousin Rose, didn't get the post, it was too "mainstream" and "opinionated" according to him and his cousin. Anyone who knew Albus and Rose knew that they really were just sick of always reading the same story about either the alleged love affair between Rose's mother and Albus' father (a timeless trash news classic) and the constant articles and interviews of Albus' siblings.

"Yup." Scorpius nodded, his eyes darted across the paper.

"Is it Witch Weekly or the Prophet?" Albus sighed.

Scorpius checked and hissed at the answer. "W-"

"ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER, YOU COMPLETE ARSE OF A BROTHER!"

Lily's voice screamed from the Hufflepuff table (how ironic, the most foulmouthed of the Potter-Weasley-Granger children was a Hufflepuff) and suddenly the redheaded ball of fury came stomping up to her brother.

Scorpius watched in fear as Albus was viciously yelled at by Lily.

"I told you I was going to be in Witch Weekly and suddenly my headline is replaced? Melin, Albus, this was my last chance to promote the new robes for Ruby's and you ruined it! It was going to help raise money for dragon research and everything! It was the only good thing I've done in a while and now know will know about it because of your fucking date with Scor-"

"Hey!" Scorpius snapped. "I didn't do anything!"

Lily looked at Scorpius and smiled sweetly. "I know this and I love you."

Albus scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Listen, Lily, I'm sorry this cost you your headline but it's not my fault Rose decided to-" Albus suddenly realized the commotion the three were causing in the Great Hall and knew it wouldn't be the best time to mention the fact Scorpius and him weren't actually dating."I mean- it's not my fault- me and Scorpius are just loved by the public."

"Scorpius and I." Rose's voice came quietly from the Ravenclaw table. Albus looked over at his cousin, she was busy reading a book and, besides listening for mistakes in speech grammar, was paying no attention to the yelling match going on behind her.

"Yeah," Albus agreed and faced Lily once more. " _Scorpius and I_."

Lily glared at Albus, who mouthed 'sorry', and then looked at Scorpius, who gave her a sweet thumbs up and hopeful smile, and then back at Albus, who she stuck her tongue out at.

"Very mature, Lils," Albus snorted. Lily just spun on her heel and walked off.

____

**LOVE IS IN THE AIR:**

**THE SONS OF LIFE LONG ENEMIES BECOME LIFE LONG LOVERS?**

**BY RITA SKEETER**

_There are no two people in the entire Wizarding World who hate each other more than Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter hate each other. It is a common fact that since their first year at Hogwarts, the Malfoy and Potter have hated each other with a strong passion. Now, a new generation of Potters and Malfoys has arisen and that old passion remains but this time, instead of glares and insults, it seems to come in the form of..._

_Snog sessions?_

_That's right witchss and wizards, the second son of world famous Auror Harry Potter and the only son (and soon to be heir of the Malfoy wealth) of Draco Malfoy were caught snogging in the Three Broomsticks._

_Hogwarts widely regarded as not only a place to learn and practice magic, but also a place to find yourself, where you belong, and who you belong with. Some of today's cutest couples found each other at Hogwarts; Ginevra and Harry Potter, Ronald and Hermione Weasley-Granger, Oliver and Marcus Flint-Wood, and even the late but famous Lily and James Potter hated and fell in love with each other at Hogwarts._

_While discovering who you're meant to be with is great, I'm sure you'd all agree that being with the son of your father's greatest enemy is not the best idea._

_For those who feel as though they've been obliviated and need a reminder, Scorpius Malfoy is allegedly 'bisexual'. This means the boy has a liking to both girls and boys. The concept may seem quite ridiculous (Just pick one, Malfoy!), many students go through an experimentation phase in their Hogwarts years. Has the Malfoy taken this phase a little too far?_

_Though Witch Weekly is not entirely sure of the current sexuality of Albus Severus Potter, I can assure you, dear readers, that whatever his sexuality is, it's obviously one that enjoys steamy kisses with Scorpius Malfoy._

_When the boys were seated at their table in the Three Broomsticks, it seemed like just another lunch two normal blokes might enjoy. As time passed, however, I could practically hear their hearts beating. The Malfoy took a sip of his butterbeer and the classic Butterbeer Mustache formed on his upper lip. I watched carefully as Albus Severus hesitated before snogging his partner, the nervousness and anxiety of young love was shining in the Potter's eyes. It was beautiful._

_Their kiss was obviously a very self indulgent one because, by the end of it, the Harry Potter reminiscent glasses Scorpius Malfoy was wearing were covered in steam and the Potter's lips were a bright red. (Post-Snog Red Lips seems to run in the family with the Potters; Harry Potter had the same problem after  his wedding kiss, and Teddy Lupin, although he is only the god son of Harry Potter, often has Post-Snog Red Lips after meeting his rumored girlfriend, Victorie Weasley.)_

_Why did the boys choose now to go out together in public? How long have they really been dating? When will the boys be back at it again? How will their family members react? Only time will tell._

_Until next time, witches._

_\- Rita Skeeter._

_____

"That bitch!" Albus threw the paper on the dorm floor and fell on his four poster bed. "I don't really have Post-Snog Red Lips, do I?"

Scorpius picked the newspaper up and sat on his own bed. He snorted at Albus' question and nodded. "Yeah, you do."

Albus groaned. He forced his tired body to roll over and face Scorpius, he looked at his friend seeiously. "You know everything she write is a load of rubbish. You don't have to choose between anything. Ever. No matter what any one says."

Scorpius ran a hand through his blond hair nervously. Albus indulged in how innocent and vulnerable Scorpius looked when he was nervous, it was sweet. He watched Scorpius until he felt an imaginary fist punch and pull at his stomach. The Potter turned away.

"I-" Scorpius sighed and let his hand drop. "I don't want to talk about it."

"When you do," Albus said seriously, "I am never not here."

Scorpius giggled. "That's a double negative. Rose would tell you off for that."

Albus grinned at his friend. "Lucky Rose isn't here, then."

Scorpius opened his mouth to say something, a smug grin already forming on his face, then stopped suddenly and turned a bright red. He shook his head as if shaking his thought out and sighed.

"Can we not do any Potions homework today? I'm kind of sick of writing about the proper use of gillyweed." Scorpius groaned loudly.

Albus laughed. "I wasn't planning on doing any Potions today, I think I'm going to head down go the pitch and watch Gryffindor practice for tomorrow's game."

"Don't cheer for your brother too much," Scorpius teased. "He'll get cocky."

Albus snorted and began to tie his shoes. "Yeah, I-"

When Albus looked up, Scorpius was unbuttoning his shirt. It wasn't new for Albus, seeing Scorpius change. They've lived together since first year and they've gotten quite used to seeing each other in their worst moments.

Then why was this so different?

Was it the fact Scorpius' back freckles kind of looked like stars, mapping his pale skin and forming constellations and nebulae?

Was it the fact Scorpius' hair stood up when they came in contact with the cool air of the Slytherin dorms and shone in the Spring sunlight?

"What?" Scorpius snapped Albus out if his daydream and shifted uncomfortably.

Albus stuttered miserably, "Uh-I- I was just-"

Scorpius snorted and threw his school shirt at his friend. "Don't 'uh- i- i was just-' me, go on to the pitch and leave me alone. I'm trying to sleep, here!"

Albus' nervousness faded and he smirked. Rising to his feet, he started to leave the dorm. He turned back one last time to see Scorpius crawling into his bed for a nap- his shirt, socks, and shoes spread around the floor, and his glasses all askew on his face.

The sun shone in Scorpius' face, and the boy's glasses sparkled. The warm funny feeling made Albus' stomach twist again, and he yearned for relief.


	5. hospital wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albus sighed in relief. "You cunt, you scared me." 
> 
> Scorpius laughed quietly and took a seat. "I scared you? How do you think I felt being woken up by Jospeh Vane and being told you almost died?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao im inconsistent also should i write an archer AU maraduers fic yes or no

**MARCH 15TH, 22 DAYS UNTIL BALL**

**J** ames Sirius Potter, oldest of the Potter-Weasley children, is a really good kid.

"GATHER ROUND, CUNTS, IT'S TIME FOR PRACTICE!"

He's the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and a seventh year at Hogwarts. Much like his father, he's kind to his teammates-

"You all sucked major dick last season, so this year I've designed a fool proof Quidditch plan that not even you twats can mess up!"

He's also a good sport to his opponents.

"There's no way we're letting those snake fuckers win the Cup this season. If we lose, I'm killing them all and then you guys."

He never plays favorites.

"Except you, Thomas, I'd kiss a dementor if you died."

He's respectful to his female friends and doesn't objectify them.

"Instead of being bloody awful at being a Beater, maybe you can use your tits to distract them, yeah, McCarthy? They've gotten a lot bigger since 4th year."

And above all, he's nice to his brother.

"HEY, WANKER!"

Albus sighed as sat down on the bleachers of the Quidditch pitch. The spring evening breeze made him throw his Slytherin scarf around his neck a second time. He faced his brother with a look of disdain.

"What do you want, prat?"

James grinned and did that stupid trick where he hangs upside down from his broom in the air. Albus hated that trick because it always made girls swoon, especially when James added a cheeky wink.

"You here to spy on us for your shitty team?"

"If I was here to spy for the Slytherin Quidditch team, I'd spy on a team with talent."

James' grin faltered as the rest of the Gryffindor team narrowed their eyes and mumbled swears and threats at Albus. Albus gave a satisfied smirk and pulled out a book from his bag.

"Fucking tosser." James whispered.

And with that, Gryffindor continued to practice. Albus sat and read _The Island of Doctor Moreau_ while tuning out James' yells and the vivid swears coming from the team. He spaced out mid chapter six of the book when he started to think about Scorpius and how he was shirtless earlier this afternoon.

Albus's indulged in his thoughts and wandered into a world where only three things existed. Him, Scorpius, and Scorpius' lack of shirt.

Albus could practically touch Scorpius' soft and extremely pale skin. Albus imagined the boy running a hand through his blond hair and smiling fondly at Albus. The thought made his stomach feel like it was jumping off a two story building. Something was bubbling inside and Albus, it was an... interesting feeling. It was almost like he could feel all the blood in his body rushing to his-

"OI! WATCH OUT!"

Albus's eyes flew open so fast, he didn't even realize they were closed. The last thing Albus saw before his untimely almost-death was a Bludger flying as fast as lightning straight into his face. Next thing anyone knows, Albus is out cold.

_________________________________________________________

"Oh my fucking Merlin, he fucking dead."

"There will be no cursing in my hospital wing, Potter."

"Fuck, sorry, Madam."

" _Potter_."

"I didn't say anything!"

Albus woke up to see five blurry faces hovering over him. He felt the soft pillow under his head and the rock-like cot under his body and realized immediately he was in the Hospital Wing.

"Brilliant." Albus mumbled, rolling his eyes. He wanted to sink into his pillow and blankets and die.

"Thank Merlin, you're awake." Lily let out a sigh of relief.

Rose didn't sigh, but she looked just as relieved. "If you had broke your neck and died I would've murdered you."

"Gee, Rose, love you too."

"What the hell were you thinking, James?" Rose began to shout at the still-dressed-in-gear James. James put his hand up in defense as Rose continued to go off at him, Albus caught sight of Teddy snickering at the two nearby.

Albus tried to lift a hand and shoo them all a way, but as he made an effort to lift it, a sharp pain rattled his body. Madam Pomfrey came running to his side, shushing him and trying to get him to swallow some sort of potion.

"Drink up, it'll help your broken arm."

"Fuck, James, his arm too?" Rose continued to shout.

Madam Pomfrey whirled around and hissed at the girl. "No cursing!"

Albus took a sip of the potion and immediately tried to barf it up. It tasted horrible! As if someone had tried to mix pickle juice with crushed up dried banana peels and mashed potatoes. It tasted like-

"Shit!" Albus cried between coughs.

Having had enough, Madam Pomfrey shooed everyone out the room. Albus's siblings and cousins left loudly, with powerless protests and streams of swears. With a flick of her wand she shut the door sharply with a slam. Albus groaned as he swallowed the last bit of foul potion.

"It's terrible, Pomfrey."

"Yeah?" She scoffed and took the empty glass, "Well, luckily this isn't a bar."

And with that, Albus was left alone in the wing. Just him, and his thoughts. Just him, and-

"Psst, Albus!" A whisper startled Albus awake.

The room was pitch black and the moonlight shone through the curtains, allowing only slivers of the room to shine.

Albus rubbed his eyes and focused on the space in the room where the whisper came from. Slowly, like the first few falls of rain, a veil seemed to drop and reveal a boy with messy blond hair, pajama pants, fuzzy Slytherin colored socks, and round glasses all askew on his face.

"Albus," said the boy. "Are you okay? It's me, Scorpius? I stole the cloak."

Albus sighed in relief. "You cunt, you scared me."

Scorpius laughed quietly and took a seat. "I scared you? How do you think I felt being woken up by Jospeh Vane and being told you almost died?"

Albus smiled despite himself. He tried to sit up straight in his bed but his arm sent a vicious pang of pain through him. Scorpius noticed this and Albus saw concern paint his face.

"Hey," Albus said. "I'm alright. It's just a broken arm."

Scorpius nodded and decided not to press the subject. Albus looked over at his friend.

"Shirtless." He smirked.

"What?"

Albus's smirk faltered. _I said that out loud._

"I said," Albus quickly covered. "Why aren't you wearing at least a sweater? This castle is colder than the Arctic and you're walking around shirtless?"

Scorpius laughed. "Aren't you a protective boyfriend?"

Albus silently blessed the darkness of the room because this way, his bad blush wasn't visible. Albus decided the safest response was to laugh. Unfortunately, it sounded like a dying tabby cat. Scorpius laughed louder and a nice feeling filled the room.

"Oh!" Scorpius suddenly reached into his pajama pocket, "I brought you some Chocolate frogs!" He grinned and gave one to Albus. "I know they're your favorite."

"Thanks." Albus smiled back and used his teeth to open the box. He quickly caught the frog before it could jump away and looked over the card. He rolled his eyes seeing who it was.

"My dad again."

"I'll take it." Scorpius reached for the card but Albus pulled it back abruptly.

"Why do you want my dad's card?" Albus mocked a suspicious voice. "Scorpius Malfoy, are you attracted to my father?"

Scorpius turned a terrible shade of red and rolled his eyes. "Sod off, loser." He jokingly shoved Albus playfully.

They continued to eat the rest of the sweets and laugh together. They casted spells and made drawings in the air with sparks. They soaked in the moonlight and let the stars run through their veins. Hushed laughter and whispered jokes filled the room.

As night transformed to morning, Scorpius covered himself in the cloak and Albus buried himself in the sheets to sleep.


End file.
